Liberty is comin’ for ya!

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Those who know me, know that I frequently talk about boundaries. That’s because when I realized I was depressed and not living the life I wanted was due to my lack of boundaries – I got serious about change.

In order to change you’ve got to do something different, right? Well, I knew I couldn’t go on living the way I was and expect to have this amazing new life.

The first change I experienced was setting proper boundaries. I had way too many people pushing me around. It’s as if I was the puppet and they were the puppeteer. My life was exhausting.  A friend recommended I read the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

I was glued to the book. It wrecked me.  In order to set boundaries I had to first dig through my past and discover the root.  The root was an obsession with people pleasing.  The root of my addiction to people pleasing was FEAR.

Damn that fear. It’s always up to something.

If you are feeling like your life is exhausting and you’re tired of everyone else living your life for you – maybe it’s time to get serious about setting boundaries (and ultimately pissing a lot of people off) as you journey to TAKE. YOUR. LIFE. BACK.

People do get mad when they can’t control you anymore but WHY would you want people close to your heart who want to control you?  AND if they can’t control you they’re going to be mad at you? Who wants that?

Whoo! I feel liberty comin’ for ya, girl!

Why do we need boundaries? Well, for starters, healthy people set boundaries. Healthy people also respect other people’s boundaries.

Boundaries: I mostly talk about 2 major boundary zones. Emotional and mental.

What are boundaries? Well, I’ll let Psych Central tell you:

Emotional: distinguish separating your emotions and responsibility for them from someone else’s. It’s like an imaginary line or force field that separates you and others. Healthy boundaries prevent you from giving advice, blaming or accepting blame. They protect you from feeling guilty for someone else’s negative feelings or problems and taking others’ comments personally. High reactivity suggests weak emotional boundaries. Healthy emotional boundaries require clear internal boundaries – knowing your feelings and your responsibilities to yourself and others.

Mental: apply to your thoughts, values, and opinions. Are you easily suggestible? Do you know what you believe, and can you hold onto your opinions? Can you listen with an open mind to someone else’s opinion without becoming rigid? If you become highly emotional, argumentative, or defensive, you may have weak emotional boundaries.

Have you signed up for the 8 week course we offer through Point Her Journey for Setting Healthy Boundaries? I’d love to hear your feedback if you’ve signed up and completed the course.

If you haven’t signed up and are interested – it’s free! Sign up and let me know how it helps and or challenges you.

There’s a lot of noise on the internet. It is never my intent to say ‘look at me’ or ‘here’s some more junk to read.’ I’m extremely passionate about seeing women thrive in the here and now – with the life they have while creating the life they want!

I know what it’s like to live a life of bondage. I also know what it’s like to live a life of freedom. So, if there is anything I can share with you to help you live a life of freedom, I’m all for it! Let’s start with boundaries.

Click the here to get started with the 8 week course.

 

For those of you who already set boundaries, what was the most challenging part for you?

For those of you who have not yet set boundaries, what are you most afraid of?

I’m curious to hear your feedback about this complex subject.

– April

A Better Story

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I can’t even bring adequate words for what my heart is feeling right now.

My friend, Alisa Turner, had her album release tonight.

I’ve seen her face, followed her story, and known her for a few years now.
I’ve literally been able to watch her dream for music come alive. And here she is… standing strong, powerful, and beautiful on the night of her album release concert.

I’ve always felt a strong connection to her. Not only because I admire her courage and vulnerability… but because (from the details I know) she’s literally living out the dream for music that I had in my head since I was a little girl.

The one that no matter how hard I tried to bring alive- never came alive. I was so pissed because God gave me a voice but wouldn’t let me do anything with it.
Years ago, The Lord gave me a word. “You’re a balcony singer.” Meaning, I’m the one meant to stand in the crowd while someone else is on stage. I’m the one encouraging and giving those in the crowd “permission” to be free in worship. Not holding back.

Then He gave me another word (because I’m hard headed and OFTEN require more than one word from God). “You’re a writer, not a singer.” I took His words and surrendered my dream. My plan. My story. And traded it for His.
Tonight I watched my former dream play out in this girl. It was right where it needed to be- with who it needed to be.

And I, I cheered her on from the crowd with so much joy and excitement in my heart for her and for everyone who gets to hear her.

She sealed the evening with these words – with this promise that I cling to and believe deeply in my heart: “He’s writing a better story than I ever could have.”

I’m so, so proud of you, Alisa.

You were made for this.

God was surely glorified through your obedience tonight.

He is faithful.

PS – Go get this girl’s EP. Follow her on Instagram, get her music and be prepared to fall in love.

https://www.instagram.com/alisaturnermusic/

Be the change,

April

Pressing Forward

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I’ve been thinking lately. Just thinking about how often we overcomplicate the simplest things.
I wrote a book over 5 years. 18,000 words. It took forever to send to a publisher because I was too fearful of rejection.
Well, the book was accepted by the publisher. After talking with him further about holes in the writing, I realized I needed to make major changes to the book. So I scratched 5 years of work and started over. 2 weeks and 28,000 words later – book completed.

We stop ourselves from reaching our highest potential. We do it. No one else. Just us.
Then we (I) ramble on and on about the reality of fear – placing it front and center stage in our lives, relating to each other based on how we experience the same kinds of fear… sharing our brokenness, being authentic and vulnerable and all those other words that ultimately bring healing. So needed- but I’ve noticed we seem to be getting stuck there in that place.
We are beauty from ashes. Meaning we emerge. Constantly in process, yes. But still moving through. Still pressing forward. Because ultimately, Jesus has paid the price. Has He not?
So, if we are going to claim Him, let’s claim all that comes with Him.

Healing. Sight. Belonging. Forgiveness. Victory. Freedom.

Writing those 28,000 words seemed so much easier this time around. What had changed? Nothing but me. I wasn’t hindering myself anymore. I was pressing through fear (even though I felt fearful) and writing. Doing it regardless. Pressing forward.
God does tell us not to be afraid… but He doesn’t tell us we can’t feel fear. I think because He wired us and knows we will feel fear when we step into new, unfamiliar territory.
He makes us brave. Bravery and fear can coexist. So, just ’cause you’re shaking in your boots doesn’t mean you’re not being brave. In fact, that’s probably a sign you are being brave.
Standing in the deep. Far from safety. Wondering why in the hell you came here.
And yet you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
This is the place where His strength meets your weakness and the miracle happens. It’s the breeding ground for Him to do what He does.
Don’t you stop. Keep pressing forward.

-April