Our Brokenness


“We can impress people with our strengths but we connect through our brokenness.” – Craig Groeschel

I don’t know where the idea came from that as Christians we are supposed to have it all together and be perfect.

Don’t you often feel that’s the way we’re expected to be and therefore we just put on the mask and march along with our other Christian friends?

A few months ago I met this chick at a gathering a mutual friend was having.  We hit it off right away and we talked and laughed all evening.  We made plans to meet up for dinner a couple of weeks later.  I was so excited to hang with her.

We met up.  We talked.  We laughed.  We ate good food.  We went our separate ways.

As I was walking back to my car that night I called my husband and told him, “She was so nice.  Super awesome … but we’ll most likely never talk again. She’s just too put together”

You see, this girl loved Jesus and was chasing hard after him – but she was whole and neat and all put together. She was a leader and a mentor.  I’m a leader and mentor.

We spent a lot of the night sharing parts of our stories and definitely our highlights of what God has done in our lives, how He has healed us,  and what we know now.  She did’t necessarily need me and I didn’t necessarily need her.

We went on with our lives.

Until a couple of months later.

I had written a blog pouring my heart out about lies that still try to take me captive.

She messaged me the next day and told me that God had used what I wrote to encourage her.

From that moment forward we came clean to each other about how we’re still a work in progress, we’re messy, she confessed sin, I confessed sin.

It was incredible.

It was real.

I don’t think either of us ever meant to initially come across as polished, whole, perfect believers … it just happens sometimes.

A few days ago I was having lunch with a new friend and after she shared a lot about her story and where she was and where God has brought her now … I said to her – “I’m so excited you’re screwed up too!”

We laughed.  We had such a wonderful time together because neither of us was pretending to be of any more worth than the other.

We are desperate for Jesus. That’s why we follow Him because we recognize our need for him and because we can’t do this on our own.

He makes beauty from ashes, you guys. It’s His specialty.

I just want to encourage you to talk to Jesus about whether or not you’re being real.  That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being fake or that you’re purposely pretending to be something that you’re not … sometimes it’s just easy (especially with our culture) to fall into this polished, pretty, perfect Christian image.

Living  our lives this way may impress people but it won’t bring true connection.  Our brokenness is what makes us bond.

When a friend prays over you and you ugly cry into their arms … you don’t even care if your eyebrows get wiped off (lol). You just cling to them and them to you – and let loose! That is connection.

When you’ve let someone in close enough and they see you dabbling in sin and then smearing grace and love all over it to justify what you’re wrongfully doing – and they call you out (in love) … That is connection.

When you walk into your friend’s house and see your writing project and your husband’s new tech company written on their prayer wall and you KNOW they are praying for you – That’s connection.

We’re a mess. All of us.  It’s Jesus that cleans us up – not us.  He wants us to come to Him as we are and not how we ought to be.  …. so we can go to good, safe, trusted friends that way as well.

It’s our brokenness that connects us deeply.

You are dearly loved.


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