“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
Luke 6:45 NIV
Have you ever been around someone and when you leave from them you feel exhausted and maybe even depressed? Think back – what were y’all talking about?
I used to be involved in toxic friendships. They were guilty. I was guilty. We gossiped, we laughed at the misfortune of others, we could always find information that was truly none of our business and talk about it for hours.
We were “believers”. We claimed to know and love Jesus.
As my relationship with Jesus got real my heart started to change. I started to feel conviction when I was apart of these conversations. I would still partake and push past the conviction but you can only straddle the fence for so long until you have to choose a side.
I went over – to Jesus. I lost everything. I gained everything.
I decided to keep hanging with my toxic friends and I would just be good during the awful conversations. Yeah. That’s didn’t work at first but eventually I got better with practice. I would sit quietly. Awkward. The words to agree and add to their nonsense was painful.
Eventually they started to notice I wasn’t joining in. You know what happens when you don’t join in? You get attacked. All of a sudden “you’re too good” or “you’re all holy”. You become the sandpaper. When someone is stirring up drama and you don’t participate, they have no one to share with and so their words bounce off of you and come back to them. They honestly see how gross it is but they don’t want to stop. Instead of recognizing how gross their words are and making a change, they will turn on you. They want to get mad at the person not going along with the mess anymore. They want to get mad at the person who is bringing it to their attention that what they’re doing is wrong.
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
I grew away from these relationships. I chose to not associate with these type of people in close relationship. I didn’t like who I was when I was with them. I didn’t like how I felt when I left them. I also started hanging around ‘healthy’ women who did more with their time than talk about other people. It showed me that healthy relationships DID exist.
The mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Period. Point blank. It doesn’t get any clearer than that.
If this message lights a fire inside your heart and you feel convicted … I want to encourage you to turn away. I want to encourage you to run the other direction. You are better than this and there is MORE to life than this. There are healthy relationships and you can be apart of them. Ask God to show you your heart. Ask him to reveal the areas where you have spoken toxic words and WHY you speak them. What’s the root? What’s making you crave that drama and speak those negative things?
I was simply broken. I was insecure. I felt abandoned.
When I played in the puddle of drama I felt accepted. I felt apart of my group. … but I also left feeling worse than when I showed up. The words coming out of my mouth were a side effect of the stuff in my heart. Resentment, anger, jealousy, hurt, bitterness, trust issues, … a bunch of stuff that God doesn’t want there.
You were made for such a time as this. Don’t waste it being hindered by toxic relationships. It’s time to lay your heart open before Jesus and soar.