Over the weekend I felt this prompting that someone needed to hear that they were good enough. I posted it to Facebook and within no time had a stream of likes on it.
When I checked back later and saw the attention the post got I realized a lot of people need to know that they are good enough. I need to know that I am good enough.
So often we are striving. The fact that we’re surrounded with “reality” shows and social media doesn’t help. Sometimes I feel like we’re all following someone who doesn’t even know where they’re going. So we’re all just marching along with no destination and therefore never satisfied with who we are. We are searching for normal but what exactly is “normal”?!?! It’s all relative.
I have spent many years mastering who I want to be and have come to find out, I don’t really like her. She’s not me. She’s a plastic version of who everyone else is. I have tried to fit into circles and can be in the moment and pretend like I’m happy but I leave feeling empty.
I think we’re all longing for something authentic. We’re attracted to people when they’re real. Their realness makes us feel like we’re not alone in the world. I think the reason I am always left craving something real is because I’m looking for it in everyone else instead of just being okay with the realness of myself.
I am a country little girl from Oklahoma, with a country little family, who grew up with black girls as neighbors and friends. I have both of those cultures rooted in me. You don’t find that around every corner. I lived in a trailer for 14 years of my life (that I can remember). I was sexually abused when I was a child and carried shame and guilt for many years because of that. I don’t know who my birth father is… but always had parents in my life. I have seen the disease of addiction in my family (not immediate) but definitely had exposure to it growing up.
As a young adult I struggled with the fact that no one wanted me. I was never good enough. I married an amazing man and he wanted me but no one else did. A lot of that struggle was my own jaded perspective of how I viewed myself. I love how God showed up and set me free from that bondage in my life.
I have experienced deep wounds just like you … but they don’t define me. I feel like for years I thought if I performed well enough for Jesus he wouldn’t see those ugly things in my life and hold them against me. That’s not his approach at all. His approach is – “I see those things and love you anyway. Those things don’t define you. You don’t belong to those things – you belong to me. By my stripes you have been healed.” Gah! He is so good and faithful! I have to be intentional about not performing for his acceptance and approval but that comes from my own flawed heart and not his.
A few weeks ago I had coffee with an old classmate from high school. During our catch up conversation we reflected on the past. I mentioned something about how I had always wanted to be a popular girl. She looked at me with a confused expression and said, “I thought you were one of the popular girls.”
That stuck with me for days! I realized that I had mastered the masquerade and didn’t even know it. To those on the outside I WAS the popular girl and yet I never knew it. Somehow I missed it because I never felt like I belonged.
Have you ever gotten what you wanted for so long only to realize you don’t even want it? That it’s not as awesome as you thought it would be? That it left you empty? Yeah. That’s kind of what happened.
This year God asked me to surrender the ministry I had worked on for 3 years. I handed it over quickly and asked God to help me be present and to bring opportunity to share the love of Christ with people on a more personal level and He is doing just that.
God is rewiring my heart. My goodness … is he rewiring my heart. I’m embracing this new season with arms wide open. If God has more, I don’t want less.
I am good enough. You are good enough! Yes, YOU. Right where you are. God loves us right where we are but refuses to leave us there. You don’t have to get it together or clean yourself up before you come to Him. I’ve been on this journey with Jesus for 10 years and I’m still a mess but He’s changing my heart constantly. You don’t have to hide who you are – He already knows. You don’t have to change who you are – He already knows the real you. He loves you anyway. He loves me anyway.
You are good enough.
I pray we bury this treasure deep into our hearts.