The Grip of Depression

woman-warrior

Depression is sneaky.  It dances around in the backdrop of our lives and it waits for the perfect opportunity to dig its claws into an unsuspecting victim.  You can tell depression comes from the pit of hell because the enemy’s goal is to steal, kill, and destroy.  Depression does just that.

I’m the type of person that can’t handle extreme highs and extreme lows.  It just messes me all up.

Last year my husband and I took our FIRST vacation together.  It was my first vacation ever and our first vacation as a couple in the 9 years we had been together.  Crazy, right?  Anyway, we had a blast on our 4 day vacation in Florida together but when we returned back to our norm, I felt so blue! My brother, who vacations all the time, says that’s “post vacation blues”.

I’m sure that’s what it was but I also know that I cannot handle extreme highs and extreme lows.  They mess with my emotions.  When I have something super exciting going on in my life, I can’t calm down.  I run on 100%.  I can’t sleep, I can’t think, I can barely function.  Imagine how you felt as a kid the night before Christmas … that can be me for sometimes up to 5 days depending on the situation.  It’s rough.

Recently I lost my job.  My big girl job in the corporate world.  One day I was in my normal routine and the next day I was jobless.  I love being able to be home with my kids and I’m excited to see what God might do while I’m being a wife, mom, homemaker, and ministry leader in the interim.

However, I woke up the other morning and felt like a concrete block was sitting on my head.  I just couldn’t get up. I managed to get up out of the bed and get the day going  but I felt this heaviness all over me.  I had to apply extra effort just to get my son to daycare and my daughter to school.

I got home and laid my head down on the couch and went into a deep sleep.  I woke up a couple of times but just couldn’t manage to get myself up and get going.  I took a long nap and finally got up and took care of some chores around the house.

That night I knew I would have energy from the long nap that afternoon.  Nope.  I sat down to watch TV and the next thing I knew I couldn’t get up.  I just couldn’t.  Do you know that feeling?  I’m talkin’ fell asleep with clothes on, no face wash, no teeth brushed.  Just out cold.

This morning I woke up and wanted to sleep all day.  I got up but it took all that I had.  I was so sick to my stomach and my mind was overwhelmed with negativity.

My friends, this is depression knocking at the door.  This is the grip of depression that shows up in seasons of uncertainty, sent by the Devil to destroy you … and me.  After walking through a journey of anxiety and depression for a year, I can smell the trickery from a mile away.

Last week was emotional, so to be tired is normal.  However, to feel like you can’t get up and move is not normal.  There is absolutely nothing wrong (in my situation) with taking a day or two to rest, to pray, to cry and grieve… nothing wrong with that at all, but when  you feel the grip of depression taking a hold of you, there is a choice to be made.

Get behind me, Satan!

Do you feel the grip of depression on you?  Call it out for what it is.  Expose it!  Expose the lies of the enemy.  You know what?  The fact that depression has made an appearance is a sign that you’re headed in the right direction.  We are not unaware of the enemy’s schemes.  I know that I have a world of opportunity at my finger tips.  Whether another job, ministry takes off, or whatever else…  Whatever it is – it’s going to be amazing but I need to be present for it!  I can’t be present if I’m sulking in my feelings.  I can’t be present if I can’t get out of bed … and neither can you!

This morning I found it funny that the devil is working so hard to hold me back.  I know that God has something huge in store.  I know that I have the resurrection power of Christ in me and the enemy is under my feet. I know that if depression unpacks its bags in my life and moves in – it’s because I allowed an unwanted guest in my home.

I got up, I called it out, and I kept moving.  Did it go away?  Not at first.  I was driving my daughter to school and felt like I just needed to pull over, put on my hazards, and take a nap.  Depression is heavy.  I know it all too well… but I also know Jesus and He’s stronger.  Strongholds must come down and bow to the Name of Jesus.  The rest of my day has been fine.  I’m good – but this blog would look a lot different if I stayed in bed today and didn’t take my stand.

Depression is sneaky.  If you let it show up and toy with your mind, the next thing you know is that your perspective is skewed and you can’t sort through the truth and the lies.  Don’t let it get a grip on your mind.  Don’t let anyone or anything put you in bondage.  Open your Bible and read it.  Ask God to help you understand scripture.  Put on worship music and praise God.  Worship The Living God and see if you still feel the same.  You won’t!  Fall on your face and cry out to God in prayer.  He will answer you.  Don’t just sit there and be tormented by the enemy when you have the power to rise up and overcome.

Here is my prayer from this morning:

God, thank you that you hear me.  Thank you that you’re with me and You never leave nor forsake me.  Thank you that you have a plan for my life.  You are the Creator of the Universe and yet you care about me, my hopes, my dreams … because you put them in my heart.

In the Name of Jesus I call out and expose the lies of the enemy.  I cast down anxiety and depression in the Name of Jesus.  Lies are not allowed here.  Lies will not settle into my soul.  I bind the enemy’s effort to suppress me.  The devil will not prevail in my life.  I choose Truth.  I choose to get up no matter how tired I am.  I choose to move forward knowing that You, Father, will give me strength and courage to face the day ahead.

You are good and faithful.  I give you all the glory, Lord.

In Jesus’ Name – Amen.

 

The devil tried to punk me around over the past couple of days.  I see him.  I see his works.  I see his trickery.  Depression has no grip on me because Jesus is stronger.  I want to encourage you to stand firm. Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.  Guard your heart and mind and watch God show up in your life.

Be blessed my friends!

 

April

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