I’m sitting at Monkey Joe’s right now.  For those of you who don’t know what MJ’s is, it’s a mad-bounce-house for kids.  One of those places with the massive inflatables where kids are screaming and running in every direction.  I seem to look up and then immediately look back down at my screen because it is literally complete chaos in here but i wanted to take my daughter to a place she loves since we are off for MLK day together. 

I don’t think I cared much for order in my life until I walked through anxiety and depression.  Once you have anxiety anything out of the ordinary seems to make you really uncomfortable.  I have always been a planner and love to coordinate but I still lived on edge.  Once I was struck with fear and anxiety I started to cling to things that were comfortable and in order. 

Once you have dealt with anxiety or a panic attack you are never the same.  You can overcome and be healed but there is always that voice that wants to call you back into the pit.  I am so grateful I know Jesus Christ because through knowing Him I know that it’s my choice to listen to that voice or give into that pressing on my chest – it’s all lies!

In John 14:1, Jesus says to his disciples, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” He doesn’t say that your hearts won’t be troubled but he says don’t let it be troubled.  I love this.  It’s so reassuring that the craziness we walk through in life is just that – craziness.  We don’t have to let it control us or shape us.

In 2011 there was a time when I could never come sit at Monkey Joe’s in the midst of this chaos and hold it together.  I probably would have started hyperventilating as soon as I walked through the door.  I probably would have called my husband to come rescue me.  I would have gotten home and laid on the couch in fear for the rest of the day. Instead, it’s 2013 and I’m sitting in the midst of this chaos healed, whole, and new.  The temptation of fear is always available but I choose not to let my heart be troubled.  I cast my anxiety upon Jesus.  So here I sit, writing to encourage you to not let your hearts be troubled.  Once you realize how much power you possess inside of you your whole life is different. If you know and believe ont he name of Jesus Christ, then you have the resurrection power bottled up inside of you.  That is pretty awesome!

Too many of us Christians are walking around, submitting to our cultural religion, yet have no idea who Jesus is and the power we have through Him.

I pray that you seek Jesus with all of your heart and ask Him to reveal Who He is to you so that you can sit in the midst of chaos and not let your heart be troubled.



No Comparison

Want to make yourself depressed? Just go to Facebook and start looking at people’s marvelous lives!

FAKE – it’s all fake.  Well, not that it’s really fake it’s just that you see what people want you to see. Facebook and social media is a place where you paint a picture that you want to portray.

Sometimes I browse through pages and people’s lives seem so magical … in comparison to my ordinary life it’s enough to make me feel like I’m not good enough, not doing enough, not Christian enough, not fit enough, not a good enough mom or wife… just blah!

Rest in knowing that everyone has problems – everyone has something that they’re working through.  Don’t compare yourself to others – it’s a QUICK way to wind up depressed.

My secret that I don’t publicly share? I feel alone … a lot.  It’s something that I have always struggled with.  There are times when my life is thriving out of control and then there are more quiet seasons where my phone doesn’t ring, no texts, no emails, no outings with friends and I feel empty and very alone.  It’s in this place of false loneliness (because we are never really alone … not when you have a relationship with Jesus Christ) that the enemy starts to share lies with me. I’m tempted to believe them at times but I know that nothing good ever comes from listening to the enemy.

When I feel this alone feeling, I know that God is drawing me to Him … that I have filled a void with perishable things instead of filling it with Christ.  Funny how once you spend time with the Lord and let Him speak to your heart you don’t feel alone anymore.

I know, especially for us women, the comparison game is something that we battle often.  Just know that t each chick is just as jacked up as the next chick.  We are all a work in progress!

There is no comparison to you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  You are special and unique – one of a kind. Experience freedom in being you!